I really think you should sit down for this. We have just discovered that the glorious Golden Rough – that classic coconutty chocolate treat that’s made trips to the corner store joyously memorable for generations of Aussie kids – is no longer available in major supermarkets. 

The familiar circular, single-serve chocolate has been a beloved fixture of the Australian sweets scene since the 1950s. Forever superior to its lesser cousin the Bounty bar, the Golden Rough never needed to show off with fancy ad campaigns or limited-edition flavour runs. It was perfect, just as it was. And now they want to take it away from us. 

Searches online show that the 20g Golden Rough is no longer for sale at major supermarkets. It’s simply gone – just like that. No national press conference, no government-funded community announcements, not even a slow-motion TV montage set to a sad acoustic cover song. 

Credit: Supplied

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However, the new Golden Rough chocolate block is still available, in case that makes you feel any better. Doubtful. And apparently there’s some Golden Rough-inspired muesli bars doing the rounds, too. But really, like anything even matters now. 

Meanwhile, the Mint Pattie – that eternally disappointing wheel of chocolate-coated Vicks VapoRub masquerading as confectionery – is still very much available. Probably because no one in their right mind would ever buy one and finally free up the shelf space.

But there is a glimmer of hope on the coconut-dappled horizon: a Nestlé spokesperson has told the Nine network that they are not completely discontinuing the 20g Golden Rough – it will still be available at smaller retailers.  

So if you’ll excuse me, I’m off on a Lord of the Rings-style quest to locate my Golden precious at some dusty servo off the Sturt Highway. 

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